Saturn stations to move ahead.
Yesterday I felt strong sensations of needing to stop, not unlike this planet: a change in direction, to bring the inner world out into more daylight.
As I sift through uncomfortable feelings, I gradually make space for these to be ok: to pause in the day, hand on my heart and feel, journal & express.
The inner matrix has space to breathe just a little more, and fill my world with her truth.
I learn to lovingly welcome & accept her many faces.
I relate this somehow with Saturn:
A consciousness we can so easily judge as harsh, slow, mundane, highly-disciplined… but these are all our own judgements & narrow perceptions.
Then this is how we treat ourselves too, with harshness or cold hearted ‘carrying on’, numbing any pain. I mean this in the sense that: when we outwardly judge something, we are also judging this part of ourselves. If you have ever judged someone, and then felt really conscious of that annoying ‘thing’ you judged within yourself, then, you know what I mean. I think this is a great mechanism for holding us to account, like a rod of truth, like a shepherd’s staff, for bringing us back to our centre and home. Interestingly, Saturn’s glyph is shaped like a staff used in agriculture, which often reminds of a shepherd, a guide and mentor.
Alongside our misgivings and fear, I believe that Saturn, as an image of a part of our consciousness, has far deeper, expansive wells of true wisdom to bestow upon us. If we choose to take the time, to make space:
She/he is also the fertility of sacred Earth Mother, the other side to the cuddly Mamma in Summertime: the part of her which enables all of this to function as it is. In the deep cold winter, she is still there; chopping the wood, preparing the soils, making the stews…
Though things may appear ‘tough’ on the outside, within is a divine and blissful nectar to be discovered and experienced.
The door of the threshold awaits us, as Saturn too is the boundary guardian. A space I often like to contemplate as the doorway between 3D & beyond.
What awaits us beyond our resistance, our stagnancy, our fears and apparent limitations?
As Saturn begins to ever so slowly move ahead once more through cosmic Aquarius, our dreamy space of otherworldly visions of humanity’s cocreation, perhaps we are being guided to lovingly integrate parts of our miss-judgements towards ourselves.
And, in so doing, may this awaken our ability to transcend the dimensions outside, from within. So we may birth the Cosmos from our very bones…
“This is what the sovereign LORD says to these bones: Look, I am about to infuse breath into you and you will live.” Ezekiel 37:5
Saturn symbolises our skeletal structure, the very form we come down to, all that we are in simplicity, both life and death. As the bones, images come to mind of the old Crone, she who offers her wisdom in the passage between life and death. Bone woman, she who is afraid of no thing, because she is this. She is indeed the blackness of transition, the limbo and the veil.
If we breathe life into our bones, as this passage from the Bible refers to, metaphorically we are breathing consciousness into the parts of ourselves which feel shackled, dead, dry and totally without any nourishment of water, hence without the Spirit of Life.
Interestingly, Cancer in the Zodiac is opposite to Capricorn, where Saturn rules, alongside Aquarius (in Ancient Astrology). Cancer is viewed as a water element: she of water and all our nurturing maternal attributes, our emotional safety and freedom to be in all our sensitivity, suckling at the breast of our eternal Mother. How interesting, furthermore, that Pluto be in Capricorn, highlighting the transformative potential of death, in opposition to Cancer. An opposition in Astrology, like a full-moon, is seen as a light of awareness, like a bright torch shining incessantly and directly upon you, illuminating all into light.
If we can truly hold ourselves in the chasm of mystery, between life and death, safety and insecurity, pain and bliss, drawing on our inner Mother herself, then surely we are able to join these long estranged parts of us back together as one. To rejoin our long-lost pains, our memories, our ancestral and collective woundings, back into the Mother heart within us now. This heart which receives her nourishment from eternal Mother herself, both Cosmic and truly Earthy. The bosom of liquid Love, a land of milk and honey, a paradise of dreams, made real through our communion with her.
I’d like to finish by briefly highlighting the beauty of conscious breath and movement.
Breath itself, is such a powerful opener to ourselves, as I’m sure you know. The simple act of breathing in deeply from our belly, closing our eyes, placing our hands upon our heart and tummy, and simply being. More and more of us speak of this, as we return to our inner harmonics, our chamber of wellbeing, our holy temple of the body. We can receive endlessly from this place. There is an umbillical cord, as it were, within our deep core (and, our womb) which connects us to our Source, our origins in God, Goddess. This is the true internet of eternity, in my imagination. We can come here for our nurture, we can parent ourselves, alongside any external parental support.
When we bring movement too, into the body, through conscious practice, such as a flowing Yoga, Pilates, Dance, and so on… we allow ourselves to bring this breath now, like a river, to flow into the whole of our body. I would like to thank my wonderful friend and teacher, Lou, for sharing so much of her practice in this way, and also Laura, for initiating me into my Yoga teaching path. My season at the Yoga Hall, St Albans (see ‘Yoga’), really opened my inner eyes to integrating my physical body into my spiritual & emotional life, for which I am so thankful to be on this journey. I whole-heartedly recommend movement & breath practices like these.
I shall close these musings, in great respect and love,