What exactly are relationships, soul mates, or communities? What purpose does our union serve, and is there a particular person or an appointed event? There is so much to explore in our life, and likely so many possible paths to take. I believe our diverse connections offer us an opportunity of coming face to face with an eternal, profundly life-altering union with our own Soul. A door wide open to discover oneself: all the facets, messiness, sheer wonders and dreams. As I’m sure you have encountered too. Here is a snippet of reflection and musing from my experience.
Relationships have seasoned me with their bright and beautiful sunshine, nourishing rain, storms of passion, warming winds, heavy rains and their dark moon of dissolution… in a metaphorical sense. The way a world is turned upside down myriads of times, heaps of beliefs dissolved and reimagined. And when the ending has had its way, a powerful rebirth occurs from the deep. Some of my most transformative moments have been in desperation and loss, finding the well within, one’s source of love and wisdom. God incarnate*. Within my body, traced through my skin, woven into my every being. I meet this face, this embrace of home, of eternity, when I look deeply inside.
Sometimes relational chaos can leave one feeling ravaged as if by a hurricane. Then you are left piecing it all back together again. But, I often like to reflect, did the turmoil only highlight what was there before? Perhaps the storm is serving as a messenger from beyond.
Anyhow, these topics cause the heart to flutter, yet shudder: senses of shame, sadness, fear… and yet, ecstasy, and deep love. Awakening from a coma.
Many speak of a powerful connection, the concept of spiritually paired souls; Adam & Eve, Sheba & Soloman, Mary & Jesus… and indeed clusters of soul families, interwieving webs of whole people groups… I believe there’s a kernel of substance here. We need to trust our imagination: it is so amazing. Perhaps our imagination is illustrating something far bigger than our mind’s capacity. And maybe we are yet to grow in understanding what this might look like exactly. We work with an idea, we wrestle with it, we try it through every weather, And what is left? I suggest, it is love. Pure untainted love. Not simply the love in the dictionary, but Love. The Love, as in, God*. The clearest love, and sometimes the blindest, because Love can indeed cause us to act most wildly. The mere human frame cannot quite contain it, of course, and feels out of control. Leading one to sometimes feel insane.
There have been times I’ve felt so head over heels in love with God, that I can’t think. I just can’t move. Then I say the most ridiculous things, and roll in fits of laughter… And othertimes, it is as if I can feel the whole Cosmos, like I carry the outer edges of reality, and I am bringing together two long estranged, lost parts of consciousness back into the one heart of Love. Again, it is occasionally too much for the body, and can create a form of implosion, which, is all part of its perfect design. For, the devastation creates the perfect landscape where one can pick through the wastelands of one’s human and eternal Soul. All the shit, finally, coming into light. It hurts, terribly. And that is how it works, to create energy available to alleviate a toxic mess: the mess of humanity, in all its perfection. The paradox: pure love and raw fear. Together as one, their differences are gradually consoled within each other.
This mystical union is both internal and external, for it cannot just be one. It is there in your heart, in union with God, within each part of the masculine and feminine qualities we all carry. It is also between you and your loved one, your friend, your colleague, a complete stranger. It moves, fluidly, freely from one place to another. Yet always comes home to a core and central pillar. Your pillar. You. It is all within you. The outside can only erupt from the inside first. You are the melting pot, the crucible, the couldron for all the conflct, distortion and corruption you know of. Within your soul is a place of alchemy, a chamber of radical transformation, in service to all the Multiverse, all of Life.
How to find your place in this? Simply, be… feel and know these two forces at play, at rest, hidden inside your spirit, your body. Call yourself to awaken, boldly, and listen in response. Listen to your life, pay attention to the happenings around you. Consolidate these within you, keep returning to this place of inner communion, a zero-point of reunion and compassion. Where Love heals, like blood to a wound. Let this flow. Become this river. A torrent of love, which knows no bounds. Dive deeper and deeper, where there are no edges to reality, and only more ecstasy of union to be found. Call upon it, call upon all that is, this union in God to be palpably known. Never stop receiving, seeking, finding…
An entire paradise emerges, from within to outside of you. Moment by moment, our world transforms. Day by day, with each small act, our planet, our reality, our consciousness becomes Heaven on Earth. And our original template can be known once more, in harmony and bliss. It is found on the inside first, as in a womb, growing and gestating, until contractions birth new and eternal Life.
This is the beginning of knowing, I feel, the beginning of burning together as one. As flames of God’s spark, returning to the grand fire of creation, and welding forth a story, an ancient one… Our shared story across time. Living this in the present; sensing, feeling, and truly being in each breath of existence. You and I, him and her, us and them, remembering our cocreation as Love.
* When referring to God I’m also implying; Goddess, Source, the Divine
Image: me in Pemba, Mozambique 2014